gaberios has won 50 of 70 games and the rest of you keep pretending it's a competitive league. GKrum opens as the Shamp favorite before a single snap.

THE GOAT DEBATE IS OVER, IT'S JUST THE ATTENDANCE SHEET NOW

gaberios: 50-20, .714, 10,113.3 career points, 7-2 in the playoffs, two Sleeper-era rings and two more finals. sdoebler is the closest thing to a rival at 38-32 with a 57.3 all-play, and he's twelve games back with a 4-6 playoff record. The all-play is the tell. gaberios beats 60.2 percent of the league every week he plays, which means the schedule isn't carrying him, even if his plus-6 luckWins says the bounces haven't hurt. Everyone else in this league is arguing over second.

SHAMP RACE

GKrum opens as Shamp favorite at 26.4 percent, and it isn't a slander, it's arithmetic: 31-39 all-time, 44.4 all-play, 132.74 per game, 30-40 against the median, nine blowout wins against fourteen blowout losses. Joewald3 is next at 18.1 despite a 2021 title, because 29-41 is the worst record in the book and a 46.5 all-play doesn't rescue it. HogCityDog rounds out the podium at 17.2 on a 33-37 record, 133.95 per game and an 0-3 playoff mark. MikeBosh at 11.4 and ryanjenn356 at 10 are next in line. The basis: all-time all-play, points per game, and five seasons of form.

The defense: this index is the Gazette's own invention, not a market. It has zero 2026 information in it. GKrum was a 2023 runner-up and dropped 201.16 in the biggest blowout ever recorded. The number rests entirely on what already happened, which is a poor way to predict what hasn't.

THE GRUDGE THAT ISN'T A GRUDGE

gaberios is 8-0 against tfalasz. Eight meetings, eight losses, the only clean sweep in the book. tfalasz has two pre-2021 titles, 2020 and 2013, a 49.8 all-play and 136.46 per game, and he is 0-3 in Sleeper-era playoff games. gaberios also holds 7-1 over earios, 6-3 over HogCityDog, 6-2 over Joewald3 and 5-1 over sdoebler. The only people who have held serve are ryanjenn356 at 4-4 and Siks78 at 4-4. If you want a blueprint for beating the champ, there are exactly two of them and both are coin flips.

The rebuttal: tfalasz is 7-2 on GKrum, 6-3 on sdoebler, 6-2 on ryanjenn356 and 5-3 on Joewald3. He beats eight of the nine. One matchup has gone sideways eight straight times, and eight games is not a law of nature, it's a small sample wearing a costume.

THE MEN WITH RINGS AND NOTHING ELSE

Siks78 has more championships than anybody active: 2022 in the Sleeper era, 2014 and 2011 by hand, plus runner-up in 2021 and 2024. His regular-season record is 33-37. His all-play is 51.0, his vs-median is 38-32, and his luckWins is minus five, meaning he has won five fewer games than his scoring deserved. Then he goes 5-2 in the playoffs. That is the whole profile: robbed for four months, lethal for three weeks. He opens at 4.9 percent Shamp chance, which feels about right for a man who keeps being handed trophies.

The counter: Joewald3 also owns a ring, 2021, with a 4-1 playoff record, and he's 29-41 overall and second Shamp favorite at 18.1 percent. A January résumé does not pay September bills.

record book

• Best week: ryanjenn356, 218.66, Week 12 of 2022
• Worst week: GKrum, 63.16, Week 8 of 2025
• Biggest blowout: GKrum 201.16 over earios 94.32, Week 4 of 2023, margin 106.84
• Narrowest game: gaberios 125.54 over GKrum 125.30, Week 11 of 2022, margin 0.24
• Most career points: gaberios, 10,113.34

grudges worth settling

• gaberios 8-0 over tfalasz, the only sweep in the book
• gaberios 7-1 over earios, family business gone one-sided
• Joewald3 7-2 over earios
• tfalasz 7-2 over GKrum
• sdoebler 7-3 over MikeBosh, ten meetings
• GKrum and earios 5-5, GKrum and Siks78 5-5, dead even

titles on the board

• gaberios: 2023, 2024
• Siks78: 2022, plus 2014 and 2011 pre-Sleeper
• sdoebler: 2019 and 2016, both pre-Sleeper
• tfalasz: 2020 and 2013, both pre-Sleeper
• Joewald3: 2021. MikeBosh: 2025. HogCityDog: 2018