Siks78 opened 2026 with 196.48 and a 75.78-point beating of ryanjenn356. tfalasz opened it with 116.46 and a head start in the Shamp race.
The median was 149.97 and five teams cleared it, which is exactly how many won. No luck, no theft, no Sunday-night miracle — Week 1 of 2026 was the rare week where the scoreboard and the standings agreed. Siks78 put up 196.48, the week's high, and turned ryanjenn356's 120.70 into the biggest blowout of the young season at 75.78. sdoebler edged earios 178.56 to 164.92 in the closest game. gaberios did gaberios things: 170.74, a 41.96-point win over GKrum, 1-0.
THE MAN WITH TWO ERAS OF HARDWARE
Siks78 is 34-37 all time in the Sleeper era and it never tells you anything true about him. The all-play says 51.6 percent, the scoring says 139.46 per game, the luckWins say minus five — he has been robbed of five wins his record should already hold. And the trophy case is the only one in the league with a foot in both eras: 2011 and 2014 by hand, 2022 on the record, with runner-up finishes in 2021 and 2024. A 196.48 opener from that man is not a hot start. It is the resume clearing its throat.
The rebuttal: he did it against ryanjenn356, who managed 120.70, nearly 30 below the 149.97 median. Beating a team that shows up with a third of the field's scoring proves you set a lineup. Siks78 also leads that series 4-6 the wrong way — ryanjenn356 is 6-4 in ten meetings. One week does not flip a decade.
GABERIOS IS STILL THE PROBLEM
Six seasons, 51-20, a .718 win percentage, 60.4 percent all-play, 144.85 per game, 10,284.1 career points, 7-2 in the playoffs, titles in 2023 and 2024 and runner-up in 2022 and 2025. That is the entire GOAT debate and the other nine managers are arguing about second place. Week 1 added 170.74 and a 41.96-point win over GKrum, a series he now owns 6-2. Ask tfalasz how the ceiling feels: gaberios is 8-0 against him, the only clean sweep in the whole grudge ledger.
The defense: gaberios is plus six in luckWins, the largest cushion in the league, and has zero pre-2021 titles while sdoebler has 2016 and 2019 and Siks78 has 2011 and 2014. MikeBosh, not gaberios, is the defending champion. The crown is real. The claim that it was earned alone is not.
THE SHAMP RACE
GKrum opens as the Shamp favorite at 29.5 percent, and it is not a Week 1 overreaction — the basis is 7 percent current-season results and 93 percent league history, and GKrum's history is 31-40, 44.3 percent all-play, 132.68 per game, the lowest marks in the league on all three. He also owns the worst week ever recorded, 63.16 in Week 8 of 2025. MikeBosh sits second at 14.9 despite winning last year's title, on 35-36 and 135.34. ryanjenn356 is third at 13.1 on 35-36 and 135.87. Joewald3 is 12.8, HogCityDog 11.7, tfalasz 11.4.
The rebuttal: the index is 93 percent memory, which means it barely noticed that MikeBosh and ryanjenn356 lost and Joewald3 and HogCityDog won. It also has the league's low scorer of the week, tfalasz at 116.46, sitting sixth. The Gazette built this number. The Gazette reserves the right to laugh at it.
EARIOS LOSES ANOTHER ONE HE DIDN'T DESERVE TO
earios scored 164.92, cleared the 149.97 median by nearly fifteen, and lost. That is the week's unluckiest loss and it is also earios in miniature: 142.44 per game, 52.3 percent all-play, 36-35 against the median, and a 32-39 record that matches none of it. Minus four in luckWins. Then there's the schedule: sdoebler leads that series 4-4 level, which is the friendliest matchup earios has, and he still dropped it. Meanwhile Joewald3 won with 147.34, below median, the luckiest win of the week.
The defense: earios was also the league's busiest operator in Week 1, including an 18-dollar waiver claim, so the effort is not in question. And 164.92 in a loss still beats 116.46 in one. Nobody gets a banner for moral victories, but nobody gets Shamp votes for them either — earios sits at 2.5 percent.
grudges to settle
- gaberios 8-0 over tfalasz in eight meetings — the league's only sweep
- gaberios 7-1 over earios
- tfalasz 7-2 over GKrum, one of the few ledgers tfalasz controls
- Joewald3 7-2 over earios
- sdoebler 7-3 over MikeBosh
record-book notes
- Best week ever: ryanjenn356, 218.66 in Week 12 of 2022 — same manager who posted 120.70 on Sunday
- Worst week ever: GKrum, 63.16 in Week 8 of 2025
- Biggest blowout ever: GKrum 201.16 over earios 94.32, Week 4 of 2023, margin 106.84
- Narrowest game ever: gaberios 125.54, GKrum 125.30, Week 11 of 2022, margin 0.24
- Most career points: gaberios, 10,284.08 across 404 league matchups
The all-time table
| 1 | gaberios | 51-20 | 10,284.1 |
| 2 | sdoebler | 39-32 | 10,233.7 |
| 3 | ryanjenn356 | 35-36 | 9,646.6 |
| 4 | MikeBosh | 35-36 | 9,609.4 |
| 5 | Siks78 | 34-37 | 9,901.5 |
| 6 | tfalasz | 34-37 | 9,668.8 |
| 7 | HogCityDog | 34-37 | 9,529.1 |
| 8 | earios | 32-39 | 10,113.4 |
| 9 | GKrum | 31-40 | 9,420.5 |
| 10 | Joewald3 | 30-41 | 9,548.1 |
Five teams are 1-0, five are 0-1, and none of it means anything until someone loses a game they scored 165 in. Week 2, then.